upDAYting

hello. as of today, i have finsihed three whole days of college classes. whoohoo! haha. it has been interesting and strange, but mainly confusing. i don't know how many times in the past week i've said to myself, "man, i feel stupid!" because i couldn't figure out what was going on. but slowly everything in class and outside of class is beginning to make more sense. on wednesdays and fridays i finish at two in the afternoon, and on thursdays i have one class that ends at eleven. so, i love ending early and starting late. that is one adjustment that has not been hard to make! i have a lot of laundry that i've been putting off doing because of the LACK of washers and dryers in my building. there's got to be a better way. so, this afternoon i'll try dragging my laundry to my grandma's, and my mom will be able to help me... :). and my faovrite "class" is my chem lab, which i'm not sure even really counts as a class. too bad it's only one day a week. bye.

turning brighter

yesterday was one of those unexpected surprise days. it started out the same as every other day as i attended my first year seminar class, payed the library a visit, and went to a few more orientation meetings. around 4:00 in the afternoon, however, my day seemed to just keep getting better and better. well, i guess to start with, this whole week has been a drag because of how difficult i was finding it to get out there and make some friends. but, around four thirty, my friend leigh from my seminar came up to my room and we both went to dinner together outside. there i met some more people from my dorm i hadn't met yet. we had cotton candy and snow cones and popcorn as well. yipee! after meeting and getting to know some new faces there, my roommate and i headed back to our room. around eight i left with my roommate to join a group who went to get ice cream. i just tagged along, but i met some more first years and some upper classmen. yay. :) then we got back to the dorm, some more girls stopped by our room. we talked some befored heading out in the hall and ending up in another room a few doors down. yay, i met another girl on my floor. then, this morning, i had brunch with my roommate and yet another girl from my floor.

The reason why i've carried on with this terribly long, somewhat repetitive story is because i feel it attests to the greatness of God. it was merely two days ago when i was feeling, well.... just plain sad! about things, and asked God for some help. after one little prayer, He has been showing me exactly how much He is going to take care of me here. isn't that amazing? He has answered my prayers.

rocky road

i was writing ben an email, not really knowing what i was going to say. but half way through, i started thinking about how i felt things were really going, and this is pretty much what i came up with:
it's so confusing at times, trying to sort and figure out exactly how i feel about being here in a new place, and being away from all that is familiar to me at the same time. it's hard for me to know how i want things to be around here... like do i want to be super busy again? do i want to bury myself in school work? do i want to take it easy? do i want to make a lot of friends? CAN I EVEN make a lot of friends? do i want to just be invisible, stay in my room all day, and never say anything? it's hard to know what will happen. right now it feels like i've been at this school for two months, and it's only been less than a week. i also feel that i'm one of the only ones who isn't starting to feel comfortable, who hasn't hit it off with a bunch of people real quick. but, i guess, in a strong way, that's my fault. i don't think i've once gone out of my way to meet anyone new or say hi, or anything. and i also can't decide if that's because i don't want to, or if i'm to scared to. do you think it's a combination of both?
and, i've probably said this to you before, but i feel like i've forgotten what it's like to be new, and what it's like to make friends. people here are so different, more different than anyone i've known before. but i don't think i can describe exactly how they are different. is this making any sense? i think it's the closeness about the philippines and faith that i miss. i miss knowing everyone well, and fitting in. i miss not caring about what brand of clothes i wore or what "stereotype" I fit into. i miss how popularity and "likeability" weren't measured against how many frat parties you got invited to, or what "image" you try and convey.
but, now that i think about what i've been saying, i do realize that i've barely given my college life a chance. i don't really know anyone that well (save a handful of girls in my dorm). so i can't really say anything about their character or how well i'll fit in. i KNOW that i just need to give it time, but as you know, i'm an impatient person. man! i need to work on that, huh!
the people here, the community here is an accepting and friendly one... everyone's nice, and willing to help. no one's brutal and uncaring. so that IS wonderful. it's a silly thing, trying hard to figure out where i'll fit in, when i should be asking myself how i can stand out. this is definitely challenging; i will also need to relearn the importance of what it means to fully rely on my God.

i miss jamie ann

i miss my summer, and i miss jamie! i think i've been feeling homesick lately, but i don't know where for. the philippines maybe, most likely for friends and family though. and my own family hasn't even left yet! hmmm, i guess all the excitement of starting college has died down for a while, hopefully when "real" classes start it'll be back again. oh but i do miss jamie. :)

my college life

on friday afternoon, i moved all of my stuff into my new dorm room at Southwestern University. I met my new roommate, who is AWESOME, and her name is Mercedes. I think we'll get along great. Then on Saturday, a whole ten days of orientation started. i've had some frustrations trying to get everything set up, but that's probably just because i'm nervous and excited.

although Southwestern is a tiny school compared to most, i find it to be quite big and scary. i am trying my best to make friends early on, and get acquainted with everyone and the campus as well. i'm taking a first year seminar/class called Health and Health Care in the U.S. It's been nice and slow, but i'm sure it will pick up in a week or so. a lot of research awaits. so far i haven't jumped into any organizations or clubs or sports, i'm gonna wait and see how things go. take it nice and slow for a change. i like it here.

saying goodbye

this week is a week of goodbyes. today was our last day at our home church, so i've just finished making several goodbyes. my cousins mike and cherry leave tomorrow, more goodbyes. and we leave on thursday. goodbye to all our family, friends, and toronto. i wonder if i'll ever be done with saying goodbye because it has been incredibly rough. hmmm, but i guess it always is.

rainy day

i HATE it when it rains. it seems to ruin every perfect thing. i know that's not true, but sometimes you have perfect plans to enjoy a perfectly wonderful afternoon outside in beautiful sunshine. then out of no where rain comes pouring down on you, making you want to cry. mmmm, yeah it rained this afternoon. hard. i wanted to cry, but now i think i'm enjoying the smell after the rain.

canada

i have been in canada since the beginning of july, visiting with my very filipino side of the family. i have had an incredibly fun time. i have to admit, seeing some of my cousins for the first time in six years was a bit awkward at first, but it took only a few days for everyone to get over that awkwardness. i've been to all of my aunt's and uncle's houses, we eat all the time (which shouldn't be suprising to anyone who has been to the philippines) we laugh even more, and we've explored much of the toronto area together. and although i hate living out of boxes and sleeping in a different bed every night, it's been worth the experience. it does sadden me to think that this might be my last "fun, strictly family" summer but soon, i'll be on my own, studying, working... so i am grateful to have had this chance to spend an entire summer with family.

-here's a picture of my cousin mike, me, and kenny-

sunday afternoon

sunday afternoons are my favorite time of the week because of that "sunday afternoon laid back feeling." i've rarely every experienced a sunday afternoon that was not sunny outside. it's always so pleasant, and i feel so relaxed. i think it's what keeps me sane and grounded, all ready for the new week to begin. haha. but regardless, it is on days like today when i am sure that God really knew what he was doing when he made this earth. it's amazing.

annalise

this is my cousin annalise, doesn't she have gorgeous curls?

i'll being seeing a lot of her this next year, but i miss her now... sigh.

this is me

this is me. and my somewhat painful attempt at finding something to do. but this is exactly why i love summers. there's so much nothing time. however, in two weeks my summer will end, and a whole new life will be staring at me in the face, just waiting for me to jump in. but in ways that surprise me, i can't wait for it either! i haven't felt much fear yet, a little worry maybe, but excitement is what most describes how i see it- a year full of surprises and silly little adventures. and i can't wait!