it was like a dream

ben came and went faster than i could have ever imagined it possible. but it was wonderful. i'd give anything to be able to go through this weekend again. we stayed at my grandma's, went to the lake one afternoon, and he got to visit my campus. i loved every second of last weekend. ben is so good to me for coming all the way down here just to see me for three days. boy am i lucky. :)

he's only been gone a day, and i feel so sick. i miss him and i feel so empty. but... he makes me so happy. : D that's all that counts.

too afraid?

i guess it can't be a bad thing to be overprepared, but by everyone making a big deal out of this hurricane rita, i'm starting to become "overworried." They did cancel classes for us tomorrow! which, IS a good thing because i have some catching up to do. and that also means my calculus exam was moved to a week later, which totally made my day! haha. there's also a lot of warnings and precautions, like we're not supposed to leave our dorms when the storm hits, and i live on the third floor and still being advised to move everything off the floor. NOW, i dunno if that's being too worried or not, but the big scary hurricane isn't supposed to be hitting Georgetown that hard. I think some hard rain will be about as bad as it gets here. or at least that's what i'm praying for because ben's supposed to fly in tomorrow! if this hurricane gets in the way of those plans in any way, oh wow i will be furious. haha. but i'll just have to wait and see. in the meantime, i'm gonna focus on other things, like my homework. and i'll be praying that this storm blows over, and doesn't cause too much damage. oh, i hope.

my roommate

this is me and my roommate Mercedes. :) i have a couple more pictures up, you can see them

here.

miss na miss na kita

na mimiss ko na talaga ang bayan ko. walang kanin dito, walang nag titinda sa gitna ng daan- walang kahit anong bagay dito na tunay na pinoy! wala ako'ng makusap dito'ng tao na marunong mag tagalog. palagi ko'ng na kakalimutan na dapat english lang dito. :) heh, minsan nag uusap kami ng roommate ko, tapos hindi ko na pala alma, tagalog yung sinasalita ko! ano ba yan. sana, nasa pilipinas na lang ako! mas ma ayos pa doon, ayoko na dito... :)

breathe

i have not felt this lost in a long, long time. i cannot describe what it is that is bothering me or what i'm feeling because i can't figure out what it is. i'm sad. very sad. i dunno why. lonely too for sure. i have no desire to put effort into anything i do. i don't like leaving my room. or maybe maybe i would if i had somewhere i wanted to be. or some people i wanted to be with. what's wrong what's wrong! why don't i feel like myself? i love life, what's wrong with me?

worries

i cannot focus very well today. i'm not sure what it is. i keep thinking i've forgotten to do something, like go to class! something's bugging me, worrying me. but i cannot figure out what it is. it could be my calculus class because i'm so very nervous about it. or maybe it's something else.

ever been kissed?

"I’ve kissed a guy... I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing.... That thing... that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time.

-from, "Never Been Kissed"

accidental vegetarian?

hmm. i used to want to become a vegetarian but my parents kept telling me to make sure it was the right decision for me. i never really got around to figuring that out, and i also think that i like chicken too much. but since i moved to southwestern, i've noticed that i don't ever eat meat in the cafeteria. weird. so, accidentally i have become a vegetarian. okay, except at my grandma's and at restaurants. mmmm.